Hi strange drifter

[Pale Rider]

Quick quiz. Cycling forums are:
a) The best forums there are
b) Tribal (said like that's a bad thing)
c) Tribal (said like that's a good thing)

Yesterday I dodged all the pop-ups and started a thread on Singletrack World, last visited here and here. (If you're a newcomer to NACF, those are links. Unless you're using the 'mobile' setting, they aren't underlined. The software simply sets them off in dark blue – so maybe you see them, maybe you don't.) Here's my OP:

Stranger in a strange land

I’ve read Rule One, and hopefully my only resemblance to a dick is its boundless curiosity. Fingers crossed this isn’t negative use of the forum, which certainly isn’t my intent.

Greetings, earthlings. I’m from a planet far away, where we only ride on increasingly fractured roads. I was alerted to a thread here, since closed, from a post on another far away forum (which I hesitate to link to should it constitute a breach in the T&C and cause a tear in the spacetime continuum). This was pivotal in my choice of landing site, as there are obvious signs of intelligence here.

So far so mysterious.

My purpose for posting is to alert you to my home world, designated NACF.

That is, quite clearly, not another cycling forum. Nor does it grant me a revenue stream. It is essentially a blog which cunningly looks like a forum through the transparent use of limitless name changes, most from the pages of history (Fyodor Dostoevsky ring a bell?).

Why should you care about any of this?

At the risk of hurting my own feelings, there’s absolutely no reason in the world you should. The only thing I have to offer STWers is [checking I’m using this term correctly] context collapse. You see, I love talking about cycling forums, which can lead to grief, as meta is generally frowned upon by management. If you like talking about them too, in a safe space (or at least my definition of one), perhaps you might consider stepping Across The Road.

Allow me to first state how distasteful I find self-promotion. However, when people haven't heard of you because you've never managed to go viral like some cat video or Donald Trump, it can be an aid.

I wasn't expecting to be welcomed with open arms; was in fact prepared for a fair amount of piss to be taken. It comes with the territory of being whatever it is I am:

a) A "deft, playful, and reflective intertextualist"
b) Frustrated artist
c) That guy who wrecked his forum over smileys
d) All of the above

Once you've been mauled at Mumsnet, everything else is a garden party. (Actually that wasn't quite as bad a mauling as my memory had it. The point still stands.)

A curated selection of replies:

Que?

Or "cue?", as I pronounced it to my wife whilst apprising her of my latest adventure, amusing her terrifically. (My comedy is in great demand in the domestic market).

Kudos for the clever roundabout story, but I’m not sure it was needed.

In my experience the chaff separates itself from the wheat.

I’m about as likely to click that link as I am to watch one of WCA’s videos

What I heard: "Click that link".

Very disappointed there was no mention of STW being grokked.

This was a good time to step in to show I wasn't a plopper – Mumsnet's earthy insult for someone who posts and runs. I had indeed used "grok" in the first draft.

Qué?

I know this one!

¿Or do I?

https://frenchtogether.com/what-in-french/



https://www.spanishwithedyta.com/spanish-spelling-and-pronunciation/whats-the-difference-between-que-and-que-in-spanish/

Damn rabbit holes.

Someone’s just found ChatGPT…

Funnily enough, that sounds exactly like something written by an artificial intelligence.

Was many years ago that I left home and came this way…I was a young man full of hopes and dreams.
But now it seems to me that all is lost and nothing gained
Sometimes things aren’t what they seem
Welcome to the forum, it’s no Brave New World.

There wasn't any Iron Maiden on my iPod before.
There still isn't.

I looked at the link and my anus didn’t explode or anything so that’s ok.

I’m totally flummoxed as to the forum? I skimmed a few threads and I haven’t got a bloody clue what’s going on.

That said I’ve had zero sleep so can’t be trusted.

I’m intrigued though!

Anyway…

Welcome to the forum op.👍 I’ve got a broken knob, all the men on here have, it’s just the rest don’t talk about theirs. Very repressed bunch.

The forum is a matriarchy you see so we are only allowed in once neutered. It’s radical but it works.

There is a reflex to hold one's nose when reading anything by someone who choses the username 'Poopscoop', but intrigue is something I can work with. One assumes the matriarchy refers to Singletrack's editor, Hannah Dobson ←superfluous link if clicked the first time around.

This is a good time to mention the thread on Mumsnet that brought me back to STW: What is a woman? Asking for some cyclists.

Sure you’re not lost in a lost world?

Grokworthy.

Hmmm, NACF doesn’t have the greatest reputation in cycling fora worlds.

Unevidenced claims: now where does that ring a bell. In any event, what I heard: "People have heard of NACF."


Success kid

Can Twitter/X be trusted to deliver further reaction? If not, I think we're done here.

What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff—I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all.