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Sspots
of Time
by Phillip
Barron
Sweet are those moments
when all your skills converge and you clear a technical section with more
grace than you thought possible. That's what I call flow. Others call it
groovin' or dialed-in. " 'Spots of time' was the phrase Wordsworth
used for such moments," says writer Ron Rash, "but the poet's words were
no better than mine because what I felt was beyond any words that had ever
been used before. You need a new language." I hope you've experienced what
I'm talking about. It's a rush like no other. In the mountain bike community,
there are as many reasons to ride as there are riders. It took 15 years
of mountain biking and the experience of single-speed mountain biking for
me to realize explicitly what I'd known only implicitly all along: to me,
finding flow is my reason to ride.
For Wordsworth, spots were key moments in his life; they formed remarkably
vivid memories. He talks about the compression of time, the heightened senses,
the feeling of being inside something important. He experienced spots most
consistently in nature, and although many call his experiences mystical
Wordsworth denied any supernatural element to these moments. Rather, they
are about as grounded in this earth as you can get.
I ride to find that state of flow in the woods. This doesn't mean that I
ride slowly or on flat trails. There is a state of grace that a rider can
achieve while riding over roots and rocks, through rollercoasters and bowls,
over logs and logstacks, and all the while maintain speed. Flow is possible
on a technical trail -- it's just harder to find. But, the difficulty reaching
it is what makes it so rewarding. It's about dabbing less, stepping out
of the pedals as little as possible. It's about accepting what comes around
the corner. It's about loving the challenge of the trail laid out before
me.
In a state of flow I briefly forget that my bike and I are two separate
things. I forget that I am a clumsy bi-ped who can't move gracefully down
a mountain without help. I forget that it shouldn't be possible to travel
this fast over roots, rocks, twists, and turns. I move so smoothly, so instinctively
that it is difficult to say that I am responsible for my movements, since
no deliberate act of will could fit so harmoniously into the environment.
When in flow, I'm not totally in control of my actions. There's something
else going on, something more than me, a bike, and a path. It's as though
the three merge temporarily. Flow never lasts long -- usually no longer
than a few seconds at a time. But these moments, scattered throughout a
two hour ride, convey a lifetime of experience.
The lifetime, the wisdom of these moments is what interests me most. Nietzsche
took moments like these as evidence that the there is no end-point at which
history is aiming. He knew, because he experienced moments of clarity where
all the wisdom of eternity seemed within reach, that the present contains
within it everything we need to find meaning in the world. "The world is
complete and reaches its finality at each and every moment. What could ten
more years teach that the past ten were unable to teach!" I don't know about
history's aims or universal meanings, but I do know that the compression
of time in these moments is something special.
These moments are wise in the sense that every spot of time or moment of
flow has taught me something. I've learned some new skill or that I'm capable
of something I'd not experienced before. Compressed time isn't the same
as time slowed down. Time slows down when you fall. You know you've lost
your balance, you know you're past that critical point where you could have
caught yourself, you know you're going to slam your shoulder into that rock.
It all happens in slow motion, maybe because your mind is working twice
as fast as normal.
Compressed time isn't slow -- if anything, it's sped up. Maybe this is
where we recover the time that slows down when we fall. Nor are spots of
time or sessions of flow inevitable. When you fall, the crunch of the shoulder
to the rock is inevitable; every thought that races through your mind before
the crunch just delays what is guaranteed. Falling, no matter how drawn
out, has a clear end. You see it coming.
But a spot of time is different; experiencing one is not guaranteed. Nor
is it clear, while you're in one, how long it will last or even whether
it will end. When you're in a spot of time, you aren't conscious of anything
else -- not even the fact that you're in it. You realize what just happened
only when it's all over.
More than irregular, spots of time are also elusive. I never experience
one when I try to. I know I'm more likely to experience one in the saddle
of my single-speed than in front of a glowing computer monitor, but that's
about it.
Before going single, I had my own ideas what to expect: tougher climbs;
more cautious, thoughtful riding; keeping the momentum. What I wasn't prepared
for was how quickly I felt freed from thinking about speeds and gears. My
first few single-speed rides were experiences in liberation. I was focusing
on the trail, not on the bike. I'm very comfortable with my bike -- I've
had it for four years, I have 6,000+ off-road miles on it, and I've ridden
it up and down the East Coast. But as a single-speed is the first time that
the bike moves like it is an extension of me and not just a machine I manipulate.
As a geared bike, at best, I just manipulated it well. Now, before turns
or hills, I spend my time picking my lines, not my gears. Keeping momentum
on climbs is a challenge of a different sort, though not as difficult as
I expected.
Some people insist that a spot of time is something experienced in stillness.
That clarity is something you achieve through meditation, cross-legged on
the floor staring at a candle flame. Maybe. Like Wordsworth and Rash, I
meditate in motion. There is a stillness, a calm, within flow, but it is
more spiritual than physical. The urge to mountain bike comes from the soul.
Riding in the woods is a spiritual experience, but not a religious or even
a mystical one. Like Wordsworth, I've found greater solace in staying firmly
planted on dirt.
Standing on dirt with me, Norman Maclean says of the elusive nature of these
moments that "poets talk about 'spots of time,' but it is really [fly] fishermen
who experience eternity compressed into a moment. No one can tell what a
spot of time is until suddenly the whole world is a fish and the fish is
gone."
Notes
Maclean, Norman. A River Runs Through It. Chicago: University of Chicago
Press, 2001.
Nietzsche, Friedrich. Untimely Meditations. Translated by R. J. Hollingdale.
Edited by Charles Taylor, Texts in German Philosophy.
Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1983.
Rash, Ron. Saints at the River. New York : H. Holt, 2004.
Phillip Barron is a freelance columnist for The Herald Sun, in Durham, North
Carolina. He also teaches Philosophy at the University of North Carolina,
Greensboro.